This is the beginning of a new series that I hope I will complete. You know I'm terrible at blogging, but this idea struck me at school one afternoon, and I think it could be very helpful in parenting- for me and others. Enjoy!
When attempting a thorough screwing up of your child or children, do not be discouraged. Here in America, we are predisposed to creating monsters with ease. For most of you, reading this is not even necessary, as your children are already happily therapy bound. But, in the event that you want to safeguard your child's complete demise, make every effort to give your child everything he asks for.
Children only ask for things that they simply must have. There is no use denying or fighting it. And the sad truth is, should you choose to say no, you run the risk of having to have an actual conversation with your child, and we all know we don't want that.
There's an old adage that states "Children should be seen and not heard." In 2012, a rough translation of that ancient passage would state "Children should be involved in other things and leave their parents alone." While many parents would argue that children belong in a separate room with separate things, I agree. When you provide your offspring with televisions, game consoles, countless toys, and endless snacks at their disposal, they will leave you alone to pursue your own wants and dreams, such as watching Wipe Out uninterrupted or eating an entire apple pie without an audience begging and whining for a piece.
In fact, go beyond giving your child everything he asks for. Give him things he doesn't even know he wants. If he asks for a Playstation, give a Wii to go along with it. If he wants a cookie, pair it with a doughnut. If you front-load the desires of your child, later you won't have to interact at all! Everything will already be there waiting on him to become bored and discover it.
Now don't worry. Your child will not be lonely without you. How could he be? He'll be far too busy enjoying all thecrap wonderful things you have provided for him!
How to Screw Up Your Child in 10 Easy Steps
Step One: Give your child everything he asks for.
When attempting a thorough screwing up of your child or children, do not be discouraged. Here in America, we are predisposed to creating monsters with ease. For most of you, reading this is not even necessary, as your children are already happily therapy bound. But, in the event that you want to safeguard your child's complete demise, make every effort to give your child everything he asks for.
Children only ask for things that they simply must have. There is no use denying or fighting it. And the sad truth is, should you choose to say no, you run the risk of having to have an actual conversation with your child, and we all know we don't want that.
There's an old adage that states "Children should be seen and not heard." In 2012, a rough translation of that ancient passage would state "Children should be involved in other things and leave their parents alone." While many parents would argue that children belong in a separate room with separate things, I agree. When you provide your offspring with televisions, game consoles, countless toys, and endless snacks at their disposal, they will leave you alone to pursue your own wants and dreams, such as watching Wipe Out uninterrupted or eating an entire apple pie without an audience begging and whining for a piece.
In fact, go beyond giving your child everything he asks for. Give him things he doesn't even know he wants. If he asks for a Playstation, give a Wii to go along with it. If he wants a cookie, pair it with a doughnut. If you front-load the desires of your child, later you won't have to interact at all! Everything will already be there waiting on him to become bored and discover it.
Now don't worry. Your child will not be lonely without you. How could he be? He'll be far too busy enjoying all the
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